undelivered communication | the iGnite blog

Point to Ponder:
Do you feel weighed down by unfulfilled goals, expectations and/or unfinished business?

Neissa Brown Springmann

If you’re like me, it was much more fun to celebrate my 2015 accomplishments, unexpected wins and everything that I am thankful for than to identify my 2015 disappointments, regrets, unfulfilled expectations, undelivered communication and unfinished business (a.k.a. the heavy five) from last week’s journal. While it was painful to dig these up and reveal them, it was necessary to pull them to the surface, look them over and decide what I wanted to do with them, because I DO have a choice!

When the Clean the Slate exercise was first introduced to me, I was bummed to realize that I was being asked to remember “the heavy five”, however when I was told that I had a choice as to what I did with them, my attitude completely changed. I think my reaction was something like this: “Wait! You mean I have a choice as to whether or not I pursue my unfulfilled expectations, unachieved goals, undelivered communication and unfinished business? And, I don’t have to keep them on my ever growing goals and to-do list that I can’t ever seem to complete?” Brilliant!

Upon going through the exercise, it allowed me to see the significance of releasing the burden of carrying anything that is unnecessary, non-relevant, or extra, NOW! Cleaning the slate also allowed me to precisely look at my New Year with a brand new pair of high quality, smudge free, Ray-Ban glasses while also determining what is really important to me, NOW! I don’t know about you, but that was and continues to be an epiphany for me–that I ALWAYS have a choice in what I continue to pursue (or not). Either way, what’s most important is that we pull the weeds, bring them to the surface, acknowledge them and make the important decision to do something with them. It’s like clearing your conscience!

In conclusion, the clean the slate exercise reminds me of a “choice dilemma” that my older sister, Shonna, experienced many years ago. Shortly after high school she became an RN and then received her BS in nursing from the University of Texas. A few years later she decided that she wanted to get her master’s degree in exercise physiology. She was accepted into UT’s program and attended, however six months into it she became very confused. She was not enjoying her experience, she was not enjoying what she was learning and she was pretty miserable. Ultimately, she wanted to quit, but two things tripped her up: 1). Our mom and dad raised us with the value of commitment. Once we started something we finished it. There was no quitting. 2). She always envisioned herself with a master’s degree, and specifically with the “M” initial behind her name. It was a right of passage that she thought she needed in order to prove herself.

What my sister lost sight of (that I think we all can relate to) was it was her life and therefore her choice. The “never quit” philosophy that we were raised with was great, as it taught us the values of commitment and hard work (my parent’s actual goals for us), however because that was a firm rule in our house, as an adult the line for her was blurred.

After talking through it, she was able to see that saying “no” to her master’s degree was not quitting. Instead, it was the wisest decision she could make because it was saying yes to her life, now. Trying to prove herself, please our parents or please anyone besides herself would make for a devastating waste of time (and money!)! It was the best decision for her and of course my parents didn’t care one bit! They actually never cared. Their ultimate desire was and is for her to be happy and pursue her passion. She made up all of the other assumptions (dang assumptions!). Finally, because she made the best choice for her, she went on to do exactly what she really wanted to do and was really good at: nursing in the ER at Brakenridge Hospital and becoming a mother of two.

All in all, when we make a conscious choice to pull our weeds, choose to toss them or keep them based on our heart’s desire, we become aligned with our spirit and are able to do our best work, be the most effective and make the greatest impact!

Action Item:
Review and reevaluate your unfulfilled expectations, undelivered communication and unfinished business from 2015. Acknowledge them and determine if they are complete, unfinished, and/or if you want to continue to pursue them and make them a goal for 2016. Whatever you do not want to take with you into 2016, choose to scratch it and move on.

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Point to Ponder:
What weeds to you need to remove from your life in order to make your year all you hope it to be?

Neissa Springmann

In order to be our best and see our 2016 garden grow into what we want, hope and envision it to be, we first have to rid our 2015 gardens of the overgrown weeds. Similar to prepping your garden from one season to the next, in order to create space for the new and healthy vegetation to grow and blossom, the old and dead must go.

I learned this ‘Clean the Slate’ exercise from iGnite member and business coach, Martha Lynn Mangum, and much like celebrating our accomplishments, unexpected wins, successes and all that we are grateful for from 2015 (as we did last week), this exercise is part of the strategic and vital process of starting anew and getting the results we want.

Very much like pulling our 2015 garden weeds, another analogy that really resonates with me is one of a forest fire. As Darren Hardy of DarrenDaily (a daily motivational podcast), states, “A forest fire is a very powerful and important act of nature. This is how Mother Nature clears out the old to make room for the new. It removes it’s previously restricted limitations and helps reset the conditions so new life can form. While this process begins in difficulty, it gives the forest a fresh start. Soon new picturesque plant species are able to thrive since they no longer have to compete for the sun with the previously tall, dead trees that hoarded the sun. Glorious new trees are able to climb majestically to the sky because room has been made for it’s room to expand.”

Of course we have to remove physical, mental and emotional weeds in order move forward, see progress and experience the new outcomes we are hoping and working towards! And, of course we would never plant anything new and beautiful plant on top of a bed of weeds and unprepared soil… so why in the world would we set new goals and intentions before pulling our 2105 weeds first? We wouldn’t!…therefore before setting your new 2016 goals, you will need to pull the following 2015 weeds by identifying and writing down the following information:

What Disappointments did you experience?
Do you have any Regrets?
Are there Unfulfilled Expectations lying around?
Is there any Undelivered Communication that didn’t get dealt with? Acknowledge any communication you need to clean up with anyone. You don’t have to have an actual conversation, rather acknowledging that the communication was undelivered works to.
Do you have any Unfinished Business weighing you down? This can be goals you set out to accomplish but were unable to or have not achieved.

From something as simple as still needing to organize your office, the act of placing any disappointments, regrets, unfulfilled expectations, undelivered communication and unfinished business on paper will give your mind and spirit the capacity to evaluate exactly what you want to move forward with as well create new and fresh opportunities for yourself. Hang onto this information, especially your unfinished business because we’re going do something with it next week. It’s going to be a great year!