Tag Archives: self-doubt

Do You Believe In You?

iGnite - You were created to do something great

Point to Ponder:
Do you realize you are here to do something great?

by Neissa Brown Springmann

by Neissa Brown Springmann

As I’ve written about in past journals, my favorite magazine is SUCCESS. SUCCESS provides countless stories and tips for anyone striving for personal and professional success and wanting to become better. Darren Hardy is the publisher and founding editor and he also provides a free and daily motivational message called Darren Daily, which I love. His quick, interesting and inspiring message is sent every morning via text and email. Because I’m a motivation junky and don’t think you can ever have enough positive messaging in your life, I subscribe to his service. I don’t always listen to it, but when I do, the impact is far greater than the three minutes I spend listening to it. Most recently I was inspired and encouraged by Darren’s terrific message on the power of believing in yourself.

I wish I could say that I never lack belief in my abilities, both personally and professionally, but I definitely do at times. As a whole, I would venture to say that self-doubt, a lack of self-confidence and belief in ourselves is what prevents us from getting exactly what we want in and out of life. Whether it be the career we desire, a mutually respectful and loving relationship, or simply trying something that we’ve always wanted to try, it all starts with belief in oneself.

This certainly trickles down to our children, marriages, and really all of our relationships. Where, when, and if we doubt someone’s abilities, even if we don’t speak it, has a negative energy and can be physically felt. Belief or lack of believe has infinite effects. Can you imagine if from the day you were born you heard the words, “I believe in you!” Can you imagine the compound and staggering effects!? And what if we added the words, “I believe in you and I love you? You were created to do something great!” Can.you.imagine?! To speak in terms of last week’s journal, ‘It’s Time to Turn on Your Shine’, our shine would be on all of the time!

You may be thinking, “I never tell myself I don’t believe in myself,” but do you ever tell yourself that you do believe in yourself and that you were created to do something great? The heart knows what the brain is thinking, and vice versa. We can’t hide from our doubt or disbelief.

The words “I believe in you. You were created to do something great!” cannot be heard or told enough, and we must always speak them out loud and to ourselves everyday, in every circumstance, and in all situations. Then, we should also speak those words to everyone else — our spouses, people we are in relationship with, colleagues, children, friends, family members and strangers. My mind gets blown just thinking about the progress we would make and how much happier, healthier and satisfied our lives would be if we did this on a regular basis. To believe that a divine source, whom I believe is God, not only believes in us but also created every.single.one.of.us to do something great, would forever change the negative and limiting thoughts that we can have about ourselves and others.

Small children are fearless inspirations. They will try anything and they believe they can do everything. The picture above is of my four-year-old son, Durant, at Solona Beach on his boogie board. While his boogie board is sitting on the sand and not floating on the water, he believes he is surfing. I didn’t tell him otherwise, I just cheered him on.

This child-like and child-proof sense of belief is what we can never lose and can never stop instilling in others.

Action Item:
Regardless of the lies that someone in your childhood may have told you, you must always remember that you were created for greatness. The lies were about that person, not you, and the unfortunate lies that someone once told them. Don’t let someone else’s lies define you, your future or your family’s future. Instead, let the truth — that you were created to do something great & that you were created to shine — define you and your family’s future.

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Practice Confidence Everyday

“Confidence comes not from always being right, but not fearing to be wrong.”
(Anonymous)

Point to Ponder:
Do you often…
Over-think things? People-please? Hold on to defeats? Strive for perfection?
Undersell yourself? Play it safe? Doubt yourself?

Action Item:
This week, avoid people pleasing, over-thinking, perfectionism and self-doubt.
Practice letting go of your mistakes, speaking up, and taking risks.

by Neissa Brown Springmann

by Neissa Brown Springmann

Having grown up in a very small town, I had the fortunate experience of playing every sport available to me. I’d like to think I was pretty good, but because I was 1 out of 140 students in my entire high school (9th through 12th grades), the competition was limited.

I loved sports — especially basketball. And while I was very confident in my ability, there were times when I would get into a shooting slump and my dad (a basketball coach) would tell me, “You are shooting to keep from missing rather than shooting to score,” or “You are playing to keep from losing instead of playing to win!”  He was right, I was playing timid and without confidence.  As soon as I would get my head straight, I’d get out of my slump, play aggressive, be a team leader and have fun.

I am so thankful I had the opportunity to compete in team sports because I really do think athletics taught me some of my most valuable life skills — confidence and teamwork being two of them. However, I’d be lying if I said that I am confident all of the time.  In fact, I get a nervous stomach when I speak in public, teach an iGnite class, or hold an iGnite team meeting because…I fear saying the wrong thing, I fear not being liked and I fear not being perfect! Okay, there. I said it… and now I want to go throw up.

I recently began reading the book The Confidence Code, which I am suggesting for our summer read. I am only on page 22 and it already looks like a marked-up text book, filled with notes, underlines and highlights. It’s written by two female journalists and specifically covers women’s confidence, self-assurance — why we lack them more than men, and why that lacking keep us from speaking up, fully believing in ourselves and striving for everything we desire.

Because I am only on page 22, I have no idea what the solution is; however, what I can share with you are a few mind-blowing findings I’ve stumbled across thus far:

  1. Regardless of power, prestige, or position, every woman is guilty of: over-thinking, people pleasing, and an inability to let go of defeats
  2. Perfectionism: We assume somehow that we don’t have the level of expertise or knowledge needed and therefore we over-prepare, hesitate or simply don’t try. And women are only confident when we feel perfect.
  3. We Undersell Ourselves: We often keep our thoughts (which we decide can’t be that impressive) to ourselves.
  4. ‘Safe’ Syndrome: Rather than take a risk to experience victory, we stay in the safe zone to avoid defeat.
  5. Self Doubt and Setbacks: Men do experience self-doubt, but they shrug it off, have the ability to get restarted more quickly and don’t let setbacks linger as long. Women tend to dwell and examine those doubts in excruciating detail, which is paralyzing.

I can with confidence, say that I experience ALL of these myself to some extent!

Let’s face it, we women are emotional and complicated creatures as a result of many things — estrogen, how we were raised, life experiences, society, etc. I am certainly not suggesting that we should take the place of men, because I do think we are designed to play necessary key roles, but we must be aware of when our self-doubting, self-limiting and self-defeating tendencies arise so we can call them out and press on!

Confidence — what a loaded word. It’s complicated, but it’s ours to have and keep if we want it. By practicing confidence everyday, we will crack “the confidence code” and unlock our potential and ability to experience the many prizes that await us in life.  What do we have to lose?!

 

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Wait…Can I Have YOUR Mantra?

“Once you become consciously aware of just how powerful your thoughts are, you will realize everything in your life is exactly how you allow it to be.”
-Melaine Moushigian Koulouris

Point to Ponder:
Have you been putting off determining your mantra?
Remind yourself that it can’t hurt to create one,  why put it off when it could do nothing but GOOD for your life?

Action Item:
If you have already determined your spring mantra, repeat it to yourself at least once a day.  If you haven’t, do it this week!

by Neissa Brown Springmann

by Neissa Brown Springmann

Now that we’ve been sharing mantras for the past two weeks, I’m curious if you are suffering from “mantra envy” like I am?  Perhaps you have even asked, “Wait..can I have your mantra?”

I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with identifying with and wanting someone else’s mantra, as it simply means that we have a lot in common. And, the more we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and share, the greater opportunity we have to connect on intimate levels, inspire one another and have the greatest impact. So in the spirit of sharing, below are the  personal mantras of three more of our amazing leaders: Alli, Jill and Kathleen

“Conceive – Believe – Achieve”

by Alli Phillips

by Alli Phillips

For the last several months my husband and I have been casually brainstorming a business idea that has me very excited. Not only do I think our idea is a good one, but I love that it involves us working together. However, even though I WANT to work toward making our idea a reality, I am prone to self-doubt as well as letting the busyness of day-to-day life consume me…. So, this spring, the areas of wellness on which I’d like to focus are “occupation” and “personal growth.” My mantra is “Conceive – Believe – Achieve” based on the quote from Napoleon Hill, “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

“Embrace Life’s Challenges, Eager to Gain all the Blessings Hidden in the Difficulties”

by Jill Watts

by Jill Watts

Over the past year I have had many life challenges to deal with, and as I am not always able to stay positive and push through whatever comes my way, I certainly have not embraced many of these challenges. I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to figure out why they happened the way they did, how they could have been different and have whined about them. I realized that if I just accept things exactly as they are in the present moment and embrace the challenge, trusting that everything will work out in the end and that something good will come out of them– a blessing– that life would be so much easier and happier. This pertains to my work, my marriage, my children, relationships…ALL aspects of my life. We are constantly faced with challenges in our lives, especially as we get older and our children get older. Life is constantly changing and bringing upon new challenges, which is what makes us grow and become stronger, wiser and live with more gratitude. I often have to remind myself these days to embrace it rather than complain about it!  Almost always there is a blessing that comes out of it in same way. It also helps me realize how truly blessed I am.

“Don’t Be Afraid to Be Amazing!”

by Kathleen Parker

by Kathleen Parker

I have to confess I borrowed my mantra from the words of Olympic Snowboarder Gretchen Bleiler. When I first read her words I knew they meant something to me. Growing up with a driven and goal-oriented father, I remember his words to us 6 kids: “You can search for happiness your whole life and you will never find it. It is through your accomplishments that you find happiness.” Often I get “comfortable” with my day to day life, and at times get stagnant and stuck. “Don’t be afraid to be amazing” motivates me to continue to challenge myself in ALL aspects of my life, even if it leads to some failures and disappointments. My failures have been a vehicle for learning and growth, and if I did not go through them I would not be a better version of myself. BRING IT ON 2014!! I will NOT be afraid to be amazing!!

 

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Why Everyone Should Create a 2014 Mantra

“Words have power. They work. That’s why poetry can affect people. That’s why music and lyrics and songs affect people, and that’s why chants and prayers and affirmations and all those various things affect the frame of mind.”
– Sammy Hagar

by Neissa Brown Springmann

by Neissa Brown Springmann

Having grown up the daughters of a coach, my sister and I were raised to be physically and mentally tough. For example, in the horrible event that we would ever be attacked, our dad showed us how to defend ourselves. And I’m not talking when we were in middle school or high school — he started demonstrating this in first or second grade! It went about like this: “If someone approaches you, the first thing you do is kick’em in the groin. Then, as they are bent down in pain, with both hands and like a cymbal, pop’em in the ears. Finally, hit’em in the nose.”   Clearly the assailant would  be hurting from the groin kick, but their ears would also be ringing, their equilibrium thrown off to prevent them from chasing us, and their nose, well, that’s just adding insult to injury.

Then were the mottos that have shaped our mindsets. When my sister or I would fall and hurt ourselves, my dad would make us repeat “I’m mean, I’m tough!”  Eventually, we’d start laughing and the pain would go away; however, when you’ve told yourself those words enough times, they begin to shape the way you think and your ability to handle painful situations. Ironically, the other day I stubbed my toe, and while crouched down and moaning, Durant (my three-year-old son) said, “Mommy, you’re mean and tough!” Of course I beamed from the inside-out and said, “Yes I am!” and quickly got over my sore toe.

The second and equally as important motto is: “I’m as good as the best and better than the rest.” My dad reinforced this when we played sports. Of course there were times when we would doubt our abilities and get down on our performance. Without fail he’d always say, “Get your head up and say it.” And so, we’d pick our head up and say, “I’m as good as the best and better than the rest,” and we’d have to repeat it until we meant it. Interestingly, the motto never made us arrogant, rather, it instilled self confidence and helped us persevere and pursue our goals and dreams without fear. Now, in the event that fear or self-doubt ever creeps up, we repeat the words, “I’m as good as the best and better than the rest” …and the fear magically disappears.

While the mottos I was coached to say and now live by continue to be a part of my mental programming and psyche, my life, like all of ours, is constantly evolving and each season brings a new and different set of circumstances, opportunities, challenges and goals. And now that I am fully immersed in 2014 and can look at it with a realistic pair of eyes (not just January 1/New Year’s eyes), I’ve decided to create my “mantra”/”intention”/”motto,” if you will, to guide me through the next several months. What I’ve chosen is: “We Can Do Hard Things.” I’ve chosen this because it serves as a reminder to me that while I am working, pursing my personal and professional goals and striving to be my best, WE can do it. And, because it is all hard, my husband Russell and I are in this together, and it takes a village to parent children, get anywhere, and accomplish anything. Saying and seeing the words “We Can Do Hard Things” will inspire me to hit the hard things head-on and keep going.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Point to Ponder:

How about you?
Do you have a 2014 seasonal saying or focus that will help you reach your goals, aspirations or simply help you get through the next several months with a smile on your face?

In the event you need some help, here are a few ideas that I hope light a fire in your soul, alter your mindset and inspire positive action:

Get your hair wet (a.k.a., have more fun); Making memories is more important;
Dirty shorts can be worn twice; Be fearless; Love myself; Leap and the net will appear;
Be nice; Carry on warrior; Participate in the rhythm of life; Love being alone;
Trust the process; Discover ME; Be consistent; Never say never; Balance is impossible

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Action Item:

Determine how you would fill out the 2 steps of the card above
to intentionally pursue a healthier you in body, mind and/or spirit this spring!

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What’s Your Monkey Bar?

“First tell yourself what you want to be, then do what you need to do.”
– Epictetus

Action Item:
Set a goal, back it with objectives, then support it with action, practice and positive reinforcement (and let others support you!).

by Cary Fyfe

by Cary Fyfe

The quote and action sound simple, right? At first glance — yes, then when we move forward with the goal in mind, we get tripped up. It’s so easy to dream big and set goals, but not so easy to accomplish them. Why is that? A million reasons like: “I ran out of time,” “I don’t have the resources,” “I don’t have the strength,” “my life is too scattered,” etc. All true, but only if we set our sights on the goal, then neglect to engage in the small steps that enable us to reach the goal. And what are those small steps? Find them in this story about CK, a 4 year-old preschool student of mine:

CK stands alone on the playground, nestled into a shady spot beside the monkey bars. She seems unaware of the gleeful sounds of play surrounding her; she ignores her friends’ requests for her to join. I look toward the object of her thoughtful gaze, and she is intently watching a playmate guide her seemingly effortless way across the monkey bars – back and forth, over and over – reach, grab, dangle, swing, reach again…a natural and unselfconscious dance for this four-year-old peer. She continues to watch, then sees me and slowly approaches, something clearly on her mind.

“I want to do that.” She points to her swinging friend. “…but I can’t” she adds.

I reach for her hand and we walk together to the monkey bars. Together, we survey the ladder — up to the launch, the length of the bars to the ladder on the other side, and the length between the bars. We talk about how the metal is hard on sweet, innocent palms, of how it’s hard to maintain a strong grip.

“What CAN you do on the monkey bars?” I ask. Without answering, she shows me as she climbs the short ladder, affirms her safe stance, reaches for the first bar with one hand, then the other, then turns to look at me again. Where moments before there had been a look aglow with possibilities there is now a cloud, casting a shadow of self-doubt across her face. I smile and urge her forward with a nod, she turns again to the bars, and with the twinkle returning to her now determined focus, she reaches one hand out, then the other, and drops her feet from the ladder. She swings – I will her to hold on. The earlier shadow crosses her face again – I tense every muscle in my body as if that would be the force that enables her to stay aloft. And with my smiles and the excited hurrays of her friends who are now cheering her on, she breaks her personal record for holding that first bar, then moves ahead by reaching out for the second. Does she make it the first time? No. And not the second or third either, but she is now clear about her goal: she is going to cross the monkey bars. She now knows her objectives: to hold on to one monkey bar and swing, to reach for the next bar and repeat, to continue this practice until her goal is reached. Her support when she loses faith? The encouragement of her friends and her teacher, the inspiration of her peers doing what she so badly wants to be able to do, her growing strength from practicing and experiencing small successes.

And she moves toward this goal by doing just that – she practices. And even in her four-year-old world, there are roadblocks. It rains the next day and we don’t make it to the playground. She chooses to play chase with friends over monkey bar practice every now and again. She gets a blister and has to rest for a few days. But in time, she makes it across, and when she does, there is cause for celebration like nothing has ever been celebrated before in her short life. And it is a golden moment, one that launches her towards her next goal: to cross back over again.

So, what’s your ‘monkey bar?’  In other words, what goal/goals are you striving toward? Whether physical, mental or spiritual, this week is our week to allow ourselves to revisit the simplicity of moving forward with our goals and desires, which will move us closer to living our legacy. Therefore, set a goal or goals. Back it up with specific, reasonable objectives that enable you to move towards accomplishing that desired behavior. Then actively practice those objectives in your daily life – again, even in the tiniest ways. Find support and encouragement by surrounding yourself with supportive people, or positive and inspiring readings or situations. You can also share your goal someone who is happy to nudge you gently forward, as you see fit.

“First tell yourself what you want to be, then do what you need to do,” and we will continually celebrate together and for each other like no one has ever celebrated before!

Point to Ponder:
What is something difficult you would like to accomplish this summer, but don’t know how you will make it happen?

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Step-By-Step

the Santa Monica steps

the Santa Monica steps

“Great results cannot be achieved at once; and we must be satisfied to advance in life as we walk, step by step.”    – Samuel Smiles

Point to Ponder:
When you’re going through the day-to-day, do you lose sight of what you are working toward?

Action Item:
Keep your eye on the prize — identify a specific health, career or other personal goal you are working towards and stay motivated by visualizing what it will be like when you are successful.

by Neissa Springmann

by Neissa Springmann

Santa Monica, California is one of my favorite vacations spots. Just outside of L.A., the breeze off the ocean creates an ideal temperature leaving the mornings and evenings cool and the daytime perfect. From the quaint restaurants, boutiques, and cottage-style homes to roses, hydrangeas and flowers galore, the charm of the city is simply “sweet.” One of my favorite spots within the city is the Santa Monica Steps. The steps number 154 (compare that to Mt. Bonnell’s 102), each old and worn down, yet used every day by thousands of inspiring exercisers of all ages, shapes, sizes and forms. Whether choosing to walk, jog, double step, double step with a leg lift, side step or match the pace of a motivational competitor, the experience is always grueling and entirely humbling. My heart rate spikes, and my legs burn as they turn to jello. I stay sore and walk weird for days after, but the view at the top—the infinite Pacific Ocean—makes the self-induced agony worthwhile.

Steps with a breathtaking view at the top—like our very own Mt. Bonnell—are analogous to the step-by-step journey of life and the treasure and infinite opportunities that await us when we make it to the top. The steps you’ll take on your life journeys are:

Step 1. Commit to the undeniable fact that morphing is essential and it’s time to “Take Flight”—continual growth and change is necessary.

Step 2. Believe in yourself and that anything is possible—every action is 90% mental and only 10% physical.

Step 3. Rid yourself of extra and unnecessary “weight,” i.e. negative thoughts, relationships, behaviors, and burdens you have no control over—no more ‘ought-to-haves,’ ‘should-haves,’ ‘maybe-wills,’ or ‘I-hope-tos.’

Step 4. Allow the team and community to support and encourage you. It’s the law of attraction: if you are open to receiving, they will come.

Step 5. Set your sight on your goals, begin moving up the steps and embrace your heart rate rising.

Step 6. Trust the shaky, nervous and discomforting feelings you have—this is when real change starts to occur.

Step 7. Be proud of yourself and acknowledge what a great job you are doing.

Step 8. Give someone a high five—be a support and encouragement to others.

Step 9. Keep taking steps and don’t give up on yourself.

Step 10. You’ve made it! You are alive, free and flying high! Nothing can stop you now!

This week, I encourage you to relax, put a smile on your face and be excited about the positive step-by-step journey you’ve embarked on!

If you still are unable to get excited, maybe this week’s video—featuring my favorite boy band and middle school crush—will inspire you to enjoy the step by step process of becoming a transformed woman. Even if the lyrics don’t inspire you, I am confident the hair styles or dance moves will—watch carefully, as there is a flash of a bicep curl!!

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