Tag Archives: Heidi Murray

Daring Greatly #1: Knowing When to Say ‘No’

A huge part of leadership is knowing when to say ‘no’ to things, even when you are attracted to the task or the work.  There is no substitute for self-care on this journey we call LIFE.
– Heidi Murray

Point to Ponder:
What are you disingenuously saying ‘yes’ to?

Action Item:
Start saying ‘no’ to things that do not serve you or that you are likely to complain about afterwards. Start saying ‘yes’ to things that you truly enjoy and that allow you to be your best.

by Neissa Springmann

by Neissa Springmann

Since listening to Brené Brown at last year’s Texas Conference for Women, watching her brilliant vulnerability talk on TED.com and Oprah, and then reading her book Daring Greatly, she’s my new BFF. She of course doesn’t know me from Adam, but her authentic and transparent communication style is wonderfully appealing. Maybe I’m partial because she’s a native Texan, but that she’d admit to becoming depressed and curling up to jar of peanut butter after reading nasty comments about her TED talk is refreshing- and that was even after her insanely popular video went viral. Now that’s my kind of woman!

In my opinion, Brené’s research findings that vulnerability is the key to living a rich, meaningful and fulfilling life are both fantastic and HORRIBLE! I love the idea of being vulnerable (on my terms, in the comfort of my home and playing by my rules) but when it comes to showing weaknesses in front of others or even my family…now that’s another story. But, that’s where I am wrong. According to Brené, vulnerability is not weakness, rather it’s just the opposite. Vulnerability is being bold, courageous and confident enough to love and accept ourselves despite our flaws fears, failures and insecurities. It’s also putting ourselves “out there” in a way that might possibly result in rejection, criticism or heartache. And, vulnerability is loving ourselves so much that we’re willing to say ‘no,’ even at the expense of disappointing others…which is my Achilles heal.

From birth, I’ve been a people pleaser. Well, maybe not that long, but being the youngest of two and my parents divorcing when I was seven, developing a comedic and “yes girl” personality (making people laugh and trying to never rock the boat) became my subconscious way of dealing with uncomfortable family dymanics. This not-so-ideal characteristic plagued me until a few years ago, when I realized the root of my chronic “yes-ness.” Despite wanting to say ‘no’ to plenty of things, I was so insecure and wanted to be liked so badly that I coudn’t bare to say ‘no,’ for fear of disappointing them (a.k.a, for fear of rejection). In addition, it became clear to me that I based people’s acceptance of me on actions, rather than them simply liking me, for me. Finally, saying ‘yes’ to everything was exhausting, unhealthy, unsustainable, and disingenuous, because most of the time I didn’t want to be doing whatever it was.

Clearly, I’ve thought this whole ‘saying no thing’ through time and time again, as I am super susceptible to reverting back to my old ways (what’s comfortable). However, I am determined to live vulnerably and am convicted to the power of ‘no.’ Ironically, saying ‘no’ is liberating, confidence-buidling and actually opens doors to opportunities that are not only important to me, but give me energy and allow me to be my best. And when we are at our best, we can wholeheartedly serve others and give our greatest gifts to the world.

What do you think? Leave a comment & share your thoughts


How’s Your Self-Care?

Don’t pick that up!  It’s not yours to carry.
-Heidi Murray
Pray or worry, but don’t do both.
-Curtis James Jackson III
by Neissa Springmann

by Neissa Springmann

I have concluded that the genetic makeup of a female consists of two specific genes: one is called “Fix” and the other is called “Worry.” As a young adult, I realized that I had both genes — or curses rather — and they were sabotaging my life. Not only did I want to desperately fix anyone that would allow me into their lives, but I also worried about everything! It wasn’t until I received wisdom from a friend that I finally realized that not only was it not my responsibility to fix someone, but it was impossible! In addition, my straight-shooting father advised that worrying was a complete waste of time and energy and would simply minimize my joy and overall quality of life. After all, worrying seems a bit counterproductive to my faith!

Below are some helpful self-care tips that will send you on your way to feeling less stress, more rejuvenated and thriving through life!

Here’s to your self-care!   ~Neissa

The Stress & Sleep Connection

Did You Know…
…that stress raises cortisol levels, making a good night’s rest feel near impossible?

Sleep is as important as a supplementation, detoxification, good nutrition and exercise, and is impossible if your hormones are imbalanced. If you are physically not able to sleep, it could be because of high adrenals and cortisol levels, which are increased by stress! If high, sleep is impossible. Chronic high cortisol levels can also lead to heart attacks, the leading killer among women. Cortisol is sensitive to light; therefore, even the smallest amount of light can raise levels, creating a disturbance in sleep.

How can I apply this to my life?
Turn off your television and remove all light sources (your computer, perhaps?) from your bedroom.

We Need Magnesium! Here’s How to Get It!

Did You Know…
…that magnesium and sulfate detoxify the body and can reduce stress?

Magnesium is the second most abundant element in human cells and the fourth most important positively charged ion in the body. It helps the body regulate over 325 enzymes and plays an important role in organizing many bodily functions like muscle control, electrical impulses, energy production and the elimination of harmful toxins. Most of us are deficient in magnesium which is why soaking in an Epsom Salt bath, which is high in magnesium, is one of the easiest ways to get a boost.

According to the National Academy of Sciences, American’s magnesium deficiency helps to account for high rates of heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis, arthritis and joint pain, digestive maladies, stress-related illnesses, chronic fatigue and a number of other ailments.

Our magnesium levels have dropped by half in the last century due to changes in agriculture and diet. Industrial farming has depleted magnesium from soil and the typical American diet contains much less magnesium than that of our forefathers. In fact, the modern American diet with its fat, sugar, salt and protein actually works to speed up the depletion of magnesium from our bodies! In addition, Epsom salt is rich in both magnesium and sulfate. While both magnesium and sulfate can be poorly absorbed through the stomach, studies show increased magnesium levels from soaking in a bath enriched with Epsom salt! Magnesium and sulfate are both easily absorbed through the skin. Sulfates play an important role in the formation of brain tissue, joint proteins and the proteins that line the walls of the digestive tract. They stimulate the pancreas to generate digestive enzymes and are thought to help detoxify the body of medicines and environmental contaminants.

How can I apply this to my life?

Enjoy a candle-lit Espom salt bath at least twice per week. Now that’s a great excuse to make time for a long soak!

How Do You Speak to Yourself?

Did You Know…
…that you can reduce stress by eliminating negative self-talk?

It’s hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time! -Christine Arylo

Positive thinking helps with stress management and can even improve your health. Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

  • Increased life span
  • Lower rates of depression
  • Lower levels of distress
  • Greater resistance to the common cold
  • Better psychological and physical well-being
  • Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
  • Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

It’s unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body.

Here are some common forms of negative self-talk:

  • Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones.
  • Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself.
  • Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst.
  • Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad, black or white. There is no middle ground.

How can I apply this to my life? 

  • Identify areas to change.
  • If you want to become more optimistic and engage in more positive thinking, first identify areas of your life that you typically think negatively about, whether it’s work, your daily commute or a relationship, for example. You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.

  • Check yourself. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you’re thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.  Watch this fabulous video “The Story of Self Talk” below to remind you of the power of our thoughts.

  • Be open to humor.
  • Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.

  • Follow a healthy lifestyle. Exercise at least three times a week to positively affect mood and reduce stress. Follow a healthy diet to fuel your mind and body.
  • Learn to manage stress. Find hobbies and practices that help you relieves stress- mentally, spiritually, and physically. For yoga poses to release stress, click here. 
  • Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.
  • Practice positive self-talk. Start by following one simple rule: Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you.

Busy Much?

Don’t wear busy as a badge of honor.
-Heidi Murray

By Neissa Springmann

By Neissa Springmann

There was a time in my life when I would pride myself on being busy. When someone asked how I was doing, I’d say “busy!” and turn down opportunities to see my family and friends and simply rest. Thankfully, I eventually realized that I was equating busyness to success, which certainly are not the same thing.

To reference our quote, I was wearing busy as a badge of honor!  There are of course going to be busy days, weeks and times of our lives, but I encourage you to avoid wearing busy as a badge of honor and to enjoy as much quality time with your friends and family as possible!     

      To your health!   ~Neissa


We think you might also enjoy:

  • 7 Tricks to Help Stressed Moms Chill Out: http://www.today.com/moms/7-tricks-help-stressed-moms-chill-out-1C7397996
  • This article, “Are You Headed for ‘Hurried Women Syndrome?,” we can all relate to! “We often don’t realize the damage to the body that’s caused by chronic stress… If you don’t slow down, and you don’t find ways to resolve it, your body will pay the price. A woman will produce oxytoxin…Her sex drive will lessen. She will have a higher risk of heart disease, obesity and other eating disorders.” We know prioritizing ourselves is difficult when others depend on us so greatly, but we also know that not prioritizing ourselves has even worse consequences.  http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=125536&page=1
  • Serena Ryder’s Stompa! Fab music video and even more fab lyrics!! Listen up and enjoy (:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz7jCY1cpHk