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Be Love

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feb12_2017

Point to Ponder:
Do your thoughts, words and actions produce love for yourself?

iGnite Neissa

by Neissa Brown Springmann

Last week I received a very kind compliment. It was one that I didn’t feel deserving of but none-the-less it was greatly appreciated, especially because I wasn’t having the most confident day or week. And, since being called out by a good friend many years ago and her telling me that I needed to work on receiving compliments because it was incredibly rude when I rejected them, I have changed my tune. You know, the standard compliment rejection goes like this:

Friend to You: “Hi You! Your hair looks amazing!”

You to Friend (response #1): “Oh my gosh–it’s a mess and sooo dirty. I haven’t washed it in days and just threw some dry shampoo in it. It’s so gross, I haven’t showered in three days, I barely even brushed my teeth this morning and you don’t even want to step inside my house….. etc. etc.

You to Friend (response #2): “Thank you! Your hair is amazing too!”

My wise friend explained that compliments are verbal sunshine and they should always be received with a big smile and a “thank you” (no extras needed and no compliment exchange necessary). Maybe it’s a universal female thing or maybe it’s an American female thing–I have no idea, but what I do know is that we are entirely too critical of ourselves, and learning how to graciously accept a compliment is one of the first steps to learning how to love ourselves, be loved, love others and being love. In addition, little ears are always paying attention, so whether you have nieces, sisters, daughters, granddaughters or just other female ears around, we are leading by example and they are always listening and learning.

And so, as Valentine’s Day is upon us and love is swirling all around, I encourage you to practice loving yourself by not only graciously accepting a compliment with a “thank you” and a smile, but by also speaking words of love and kindness to yourself. “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7

Finally, I also encourage you to print our “I Love Your Because” love notes HERE so you can inform those who you love why you love them, or what you love about them. It’s a sweet and fun card that fits great in a wallet, lunchbox, backpack or taped on a mirror, around the house or in a car. It’s super simple yet very effective for both the giver and receiver. And, don’t forget about yourself. Write a love note to yourself, telling your body, mind and spirit what you love so much about them, and then watch your level of gratitude and appreciation for your body and whole self sore! Here’s to loving yourself, being loved, loving others and being love!

Action Item:
Print our “I Love Your Because” love notes so you can inform those who you love why you love them, or what you love so much about them. Also, write a love note to yourself, telling your body, mind and spirit what you love so much about them.

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How to Make a Day

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Be THE REASON someone smiles todayPoint to Ponder:
When was the last time you paid a total stranger a random compliment or kind gesture?

by Neissa Brown Springmann

by Neissa Brown Springmann

Over the past two months I’ve had the sweet opportunity to go on two dates with Durant, my four year old son. Along with my husband’s influence and modeling, I am personally trying to teach him how to treat a lady and what women like.

For example, our first date was attending the Austin High Red Jacket spring performance. It was an easy sell, as he loves music and dancing but more than that, he loves young women. So combining the two was a win/win. Our date started at Thundercloud Subs where I let him open the door and pay for our meal. Then, before we sat down at our table I let him pull out my chair. Finally, while eating I informed him that it’s always nice to offer your date a bite of your meal or maybe share dessert. I have no idea if anything I said resonated with him, but it was fun!

Our most recent date was last night in Dripping Springs. A young woman whom I babysat during college got married (that’ll make you feel mature. I refuse to use the “o” word.), and since Russell was out of town I thought it would be a great opportunity for Durant to experience a wedding. In addition, one of the things we do a lot of in our house is dance, and I preach that women love men who will dance with them. (Can you tell I am married to a non-dancer- ugh!?!?!) All in all, between the beautiful young women, chocolate cake and Sprite I let him drink while I had a glass of wine, he had a great time. We even made it on the dance floor which made us both happy.

As I mentioned in the last two paragraphs, Durant loves women and gravitates towards young ones. He’s been like this since he was two years old, and one of the things we talk openly about is how every women wants to feel beautiful, and that a beautiful heart is much more important than a beautiful face or body. In addition, if he sees someone he thinks is beautiful, I always encourage him to tell her, which is what happened a few weeks ago at the restaurant, Hopdoddy. The long of the short is that while waiting at the bar for our to-go order, he noticed a young women he thought was beautiful. When he told me this I encouraged him to tell her, but he became timid and asked me if I would tell her, for him. I explained that if I told her for him it wouldn’t be the same, but it sure would make her happy if he told her how he felt. And so, he confidently climbed out of his chair, walked over to her, tapped her on the arm and told her she was beautiful. As you can imagine, I was one proud mama, but more than that, the young women beamed and gave him a giant hug. Meanwhile there was a random man sitting next to her who gave Durant an attaboy thumbs up and wink – ha! As you can imagine, Durant’s day was made because he got a hug from the beautiful girl, and my day was made because I was so proud of him for being brave and kind. As for the beautiful young lady, I don’t think she ever stopped smiling. In fact, before leaving she came over to us and gave Durant another hug and thanked him for making her day.

The intent of this journal is not to showcase my parenting style or my son, rather it’s to be reminded of how easy it is to make someone smile and even make their day. I realize that children have a gift of making people smile and can get away with saying a lot, but after Durant’s Hopdoddy experience I thought I’d give it a try and pay someone a random, yet sincere compliment. Brene Brown would call this being vulnerable and daring greatly. So, while in Whole Foods the other day I noticed a women’s gorgeous full eyebrows. I caught myself staring at her and finally said, “You have the most beautiful eyebrows”. She lit up and said, “WOW! Thank you! You have the most beautiful face!”. Totally taken aback by her comment, I lit up and said, “WOW!, Thank you! You are so kind!” I would’ve been completely happy with her accepting my compliment, but I found myself walking with an unexpected spring in my step and a smile on my face.

Action Item:
This week, make an effort to dare greatly and put a smile on someone’s face by perhaps paying an unexpected and sincere compliment or extending a kind gesture.

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