What’s Love Got to Do With It, Part III

Point to Ponder:
Do you reach out to your family and friends and let them love you the way you need to be loved?

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! I hope your weekend and day have been sweet and filled with pounds of chocolate (yes, pounds!!) and most importantly, plenty of lovin!

Speaking of “lovin”, recently I hit a sad and unloved wall, called homesick! Maybe you can relate. As I was driving down the highway to pick up the kids from preschool, the deep and dark sadness hit me. I missed home (Texas) and missed our comfortable life in Austin. I missed my family, twenty years worth of deep friendships, our cozy and sweet home, knowing our neighbors and them knowing me, and familiar faces wherever I went. I missed feeling like I was somebody, people knowing my name; and frankly, I missed feeling relevant, important, and purposeful — the way that I felt when I lived in Austin.

What started the heartache was a text from my sister, letting me know they were putting in a pool. To give you some history, when we lived in Austin my sister and I only lived fifteen minutes apart. Each Friday (and sometimes Sunday evenings) our families would get together. We called it “Family Fun Friday.”  As happy as I was to learn that they were getting a pool (a goal they set as a family many years ago), I was so sad for my family! I was heartbroken that we weren’t going to be part of this exciting and fun time of their life and create the memories that I had envisioned.  Instead, I just got to see it all via a text, which is definitely not the same.

From that point on and for several days, I was just gloomy and depressed.  I did talk to Russell, my husband, and called my mom and sister, and they all lovingly validated my feelings and gave me great advice, which was so helpful.  However, it wasn’t until welcome events occurred that I finally felt myself come out of the sad and sunken hole, and nearly all of these soothing gifts arrived within 24 hours of one another.

First, I heard an uplifting and encouraging song called “Good Fight” by Unspoken. Some of the lyrics are, “When we feel all alone and when it’s hard times- keep fighting the good fight, let your light shine, keep on singing, keep on dancing, joy will be your banner and God’s love will be my anthem. God’s never gonna leave me and always gonna see me through to the others side! He holds my tomorrow.” (In case you are interested in hearing the song, click here: Good Fight)

Second, my mom sent me a beautiful devotional about “rainy days,” which, despite it being perfectly gorgeous and sunny in San Diego, I was having plenty of.  Not only did it confirm that rainy days are normal, it also confirmed the importance of them.  As I read, these words washed over me: “A good rainy season can awaken us, test us and turn us to God. And when we do turn to Him, He may stop the rain, shelter us from the worst of it, or remain with us as it pours. His concern is not our comfort, but our growth.”  OUCH! Okay, really?!  I’m not sure if you recall, but in the January 31st journal, I stated that my 2016 goal was to GROW. So, there ya go! The moral of that story is to be careful for what you ask for but really, I do know this all is true. I just needed someone to send it to me so I could be reminded. (If you’d like to read it, click here: Devotional Page 1, Devotional Page 2)

Third, I reached out via text to the wonderful iGnite Team, my very dear friends, and let them know that I was struggling. It wasn’t more than one minute that I was flooded with encouraging and loving texts and phone calls–all validating my sadness and feelings. They encouraged me to be mad, sad and cry when I needed to. They reminded me of my 2015 motto, “We can do hard things”, and that at the end of every rain storm is a rainbow. I bathed myself in their prayers, scripture and wisdom.

Finally, several weeks ago I informed a spiritual mentor and friend of mine know that I was struggling with my purpose. At the time I wasn’t sad, rather I was trying to determine what God wanted me to do in San Diego. Then, within 24-hours of hearing “Good Fight”, receiving the devotional from my mom, getting showered by love from the iGnite Team, my spiritual mentor sent me a text. She said that during her quiet time I popped into her mind and so, she sent me the most powerful and true spiritual wisdom. Her text started like this, “What we think determines what we feel and what we feel leads to how we act. When I feel an over abundance of fear or dread or despair, what am I thinking or saying to myself? What thoughts lead to those feelings? Inevitably those thoughts are not the truth. I have an error in my thinking.” (To read the spiritual wisdom, click here: Spiritual Wisdom)

It’s ironic that I preach on the importance of community and not living life alone, yet I found myself in that lonely and isolating place. It happens to all of us, and maybe you are in the middle of it right now too. Or, maybe you know someone who is. What I know to be absolutely true is that while we all are in different life chapters and seasons, we are never alone and we are not intended to go through anything alone. It is essential to reach out to friends and family so they can love us through it and pull us up and out of the hole. That’s what life is all about and that’s what love has got to do with it!!

Action Item:
Avoid hanging onto your troubles, struggles, burdens and/or any sadness that you might be experiencing. Instead, reach out to your friends and family so they can love you through it!

You May Also Like: 

• The Benefits of Helping Others
• Life is a Team Effort
• “I Can, I Am, I Will, I Do”: The Effects of Self-Talk