Category Archives: Relationships

Everyone Loves an Invitation

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Better (1)

Point to Ponder:
Is there something that you can invite someone to join you in this week?

iGnite Neissa

Neissa Brown Springmann

Throughout the past 48 hours I feel like I’ve been operating in a deja vu kind of world. I’m not having the same experience over and over again, but I keep getting the same message, so much that I feel like God is trying to plant a seed and tell me something. It’s not new content or a new idea, rather it’s one that I stand firm in and is the foundation on which iGnite was created, but non-the-less, when I get these kind of unsolicited and continuous memos, I feel there’s a reason and I need to share.

For starters, on Friday, after our San Diego iGnite workout I was motivated and excited to take a class at the gym I attend. I had just finished leading a fun, challenging and high-energy outdoor class and was inspired by how awesome everyone did, and I wanted and needed a challenging workout that would leave me feeling mentally and physically strong and confident as well. In addition, given that I had just led a workout, I wanted to turn off my brain and have someone to lead me. So, as I walked in the gym with my almost 4-year old side-kick Malaine, I was greeted with the news that their childcare was closed. Frustratingly, it became quickly apparent that if I wanted to workout, I would have to muster up the discipline to do it on my own–UGH!! As a result, I went home and immediately began the workout. Sadly, I was only able to get half way through it before I threw in the towel. This workout was very hard, but there was no doubt that if I had at least one friend do exercising with me, I would’ve been able to finish. Better Together Reminder #1

Then, on Saturday afternoon I had two, back-to-back phone calls that blew my socks off. One was with the peppy and never-met-a-stranger iGnite member, Mary Carlise Crehorn. Mary Carlisle moved to Austin in August after graduating from Vanderbilt. In November, she just happened to be working out at Mt. Bonnell while Molly was leading our Friday Cardio Blast class, and Molly invited Mary Carlisle to join them. The rest is history. So, as Mary Carlisle and I were talking about how we believe that we were called and created for community, she told me about a fascinating loneliness study by the University of Chicago. In the study, researchers found that loneliness triggers cellular changes that can cause illness. The study was based on adults ages 50-68 and shows that loneliness leads to fight-or-flight stress signaling, which can ultimately affect the production of white blood cells. As a reminder, white blood cells are essential because they are the cells of the immune system that are involved with protecting the body against infectious disease and foreign invaders.

The study examined loneliness in both humans and rhesus macaques, a highly social primate species. The human subjects were participants in the Chicago Health, Aging, and Social Relations Study, a longitudinal study that began in 2002. Previous research from this group had identified a link between loneliness and a phenomenon they called “conserved transcriptional response to adversity” or CTRA. This response is characterized by an increased expression of genes involved in inflammation and a decreased expression of genes involved in antiviral responses. Essentially, lonely people had a less effective immune response and more inflammation than non-lonely people, which increases the risk of premature death by 14%. As we are all learning, inflammation is the common link between such debilitating conditions as Alzheimers, heart disease, cancer, and arthritis. Better Together Reminder #2

Finally and within minutes of finishing my conversation with Mary Carlisle, I hopped on another call with the wonderful, Jenni Thurow, another iGnite member and awesome substitution leader for us who is currently helping to teach our Wednesday evening Cardio Strength class. Jenni mentioned that her husband was out of town for a few days so it was just she and her dog, Packer. When I asked her how it was being alone, she said, “There are always noises, but when I’m alone, they just sound different.” At that moment I stopped Jenni and said, “Whoa Jenni–that is powerful and so true!” I then shared the conversation that I had just had with Mary Carlisle about loneliness and the need for constant connection and community. Better Together Reminder #3

Feeling alone, isolated and lonely intensifies everything. It makes a workout more challenging, has a negative physiological affect on our body’s immune system–making the incident of disease more likely, and it makes everything seem bigger, scarier and more powerful than they really are.

Regardless of the scenario or whether you are an introvert of extrovert, we all need human interaction and support because that’s how we are designed. And, despite technology’s attempt to replace humans, there is no robot that can adequately do so. We are purposefully created for one another–for human touch, interaction and love, and in his book Love Does, Bob Goff says, “There’s nothing like feeling included, so invite someone to do something with you.” And, as our passionate yoga and Pilates leader, Amy Younkman, often reminds me, “everyone loves an invitation”, and that is so true! How do we know this? We’ve done our own iGnite research. On average, our class attendance increases when you receive an email or text message invitation to attend class from our class leaders. The data is indisputable.

With April being iGnite’s Friends for Free month, I encourage you to invite or re-invite a friend to attend class with you to be part of our special community. We would LOVE to meet them and love on them with you. Here is our designated class days throughout April to bring friends for free:

  • April 3-8: All Monday and Saturday Classes
  • April 10- 15: All Tuesday Classes
  • April 17-22: All Wednesday Classes
  • April 24- 29: All Thursday and Friday Classes

“One of the marvelous things about community is that it enables us to welcome and help people in a way we couldn’t as individuals. When we pool our strength and share the responsibility, we can welcome many people, even those in deep distress, and perhaps help them find self confidence and inner-healing.” – Jean Vanier

Action Item:
Invite someone to join you in something this week. 


Quit Something

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Mar20

Point to Ponder:
What do you need to quit?

iGnite Neissa

by Neissa Brown Springmann

Celebration! The first day of spring is tomorrow, March 20th and if there’s a person in the world who doesn’t love the season of rebirth, renewal and regrowth, I’d like to hear from he or she and to try to convince them otherwise. Blooming tress, longer and warmer days, and playful chirping birds are all signs that Spring has sprung and we get to begin again.

While I love the spring season, I actually have an affinity for them all. Having lived in both Austin and now San Diego, two cities who don’t have dramatic changing seasons, I’d argue that the seasons in both of the warmer climates are prevalent enough. They come at just the right time and give us exactly what we need, whether it be more time to rest or more time to play. Really, I feel that the changing seasons are nothing short of miraculous and our Creator knew exactly what we needed, at the perfect time.

Now, as we say goodbye to winter and welcome spring, you don’t have to look long or hard to find a blog post or magazine cover filled with springtime inspiration. Last week, while reading a new book, I too found what I think is the perfect way to start spring–Quit Something!

Recently, my good friend and iGnite member, Catherine Sanderson, recommended that I read Love Does, by Bob Goff. Ironically, Bob lives in San Diego and while I had been encouraged to read his book before I never took action, until Catherine sent me a very persuasive text saying, “Neissa! Do you know a book Love Does and/or Bob Goff? You would be freaking obsessed!” I mean, how can I say “no” to that? In addition, Bob’s whole mission is to inspire people to dream big and make life more awesome. Again, that’s hard to pass up! So, I purchased the book and while I haven’t finished it yet, I have snagged some jewels of inspiration from Bob, like ‘quit something’!

Either Bob doesn’t reveal why or I just haven’t gotten to the part in the book where he goes into more detail, but every Thursday Bob ‘quits something’. After reading this I paused, thought about it and decided it was brilliant! After all, to routinely quit something requires us to regularly stop and evaluate our actions and life, including any pesky bad habits that we’ve picked up along the way. Furthermore, this is one of the gifts of springtime, the season of new opportunity and rebirth. In order for new life to grow, we need to pull the weeds and quit something.

One simple yet big example that Bob used was to quit texting and driving, so don’t feel like you have to quit your job, unless you’re miserable and it’s preventing you from living a more awesome life. You get to choose. And, whatever you decide to quit, if you slip up, no one says you can’t keep choosing that same habit to quit each Thursday.

To get your mental juices flowing, below are 25 examples:

  • Quit saying ‘I’m sorry’ and replace it with ‘Thank you’. (Ex. If you are late to a function and everyone waited on you, rather than profusely apologize, greet your group with “Thank you so much for waiting on me!”. Though there’s nothing wrong with a sincere apology and many times they are necessary, women tend to over apologize. Plus,gratitude is always the winner)
  • Quit complaining
  • Quit wishing, waiting, over thinking and doubting yourself
  • Quit comparing yourself to others or who you were yesterday
  • Quit talking
  • Quit the glorification of being busy
  • Quit being late
  • Quit eating on the go or in your car
  • Quit going to bed past 10:00 p.m.
  • Quit being a consumer of things
  • Quit saying anything negative about yourself or others
  • Quit worrying and being afraid
  • Quit looking at social media
  • Quit drinking soda
  • Quit using the word “like”
  • Quit using your phone while enjoying a meal with other people
  • Quit doing at least one thing for your kids
  • Quit settling in relationships
  • Quit yelling
  • Quit reading gossip magazines
  • Quit eating fast food
  • Quit saying “yes”
  • Quit saying “no”
  • Quit looking at your phone before bedtime
  • Quit trying to gain the approval of others

As you can see, there is so much healthy quitting that we can do in which new life can grow. It’s the inspiration and promise of the gorgeous spring season of opportunity! When one unfruitful door closes, a fruit-bearing door always opens.

Action Item:
Each week, quit something that isn’t helpful, necessary, and/or is dangerous and preventing you from living your dreams and an awesome life.

 

 

Member Spotlight: Carol Reifsnyder

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IMG_0160Roots:
I am originally from Lubbock, Texas. I attended the University of Texas where I met my husband, Andy. We moved back to Austin in 1992, a time when Mopac had no cars and the hills had no houses.

Family Life:
My husband is a radiologist and has been the Chief at Breckenridge Medical Center for a long while. We have two children, my daughter, Erin, who works at a hotel in Brooklyn, and my son, Emery, who recently graduated from Tufts and now works in technological mapping in San Francisco.

Work Life:
I am just finishing a long (4 year) capital campaign to restore and renovate a National Historic Landmark sorority house near campus. I have some ideas about where I would like to go next, but I plan to take a break for a while and get back in shape.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned through my iGnite experience…
Women derive strength from being and working together. I feel like I work harder when working out with iGnite ladies. I’ve got to work to keep up!

The best advice I’ve been given…
The best advice I have been given is from my Brazilian scuba instructor way back in college. I still use his instructions today when dealing with a crisis. Per my instructor, the two most important rules of scuba are:
–Always stay with your buddy. I use this symbolically at work as in “always have the back of/always support your co-workers and employees”. For my family, I use it to stay present and attentive to their needs and issues. And for my ailing mother, I use it to diligently advocate for her at times when she is vulnerable.
–Stay calm. Don’t panic. I learned the hard way that if anything can go wrong, it will! I am a planner by nature so I constantly try to consider all the possible scenarios before I act. Now, if things do go astray, I don’t sweat it much anymore. I just stay calm, refocus, reconsider and get to it.

What I’m looking forward to right now…
Getting comfortable with and enjoying this “kids out of college and employed stage”. I have always been so excited for what lay ahead for my kids that I rarely
felt too sad moving on down the path beyond key milestones. Now, I feel like it is time to discover and create some milestones for myself. My work raising them is actually over. Don’t get me wrong; it often makes me sad to think back on those years that went by so quickly and in such a blur. The good news now is I get to be the “friend” or “advisor” or “supporter” instead of the strict “rule following” parent.

If I were a pair of shoes…
I would love to be a pair of bike cleats. Riding a bike brings back that pure sense of “joy” not felt much in life as an adult. In fact, research confirms quite simply that cycling makes people happier. In my opinion, the bicycle is one of the world’s greatest inventions – simple in it’s design, easily mastered and inexpensive – a means of play, exercise and transportation. In the 1900’s the bike gave women unprecedented mobility; women essentially rode the bicycle to freedom. Susan B. Anthony once said, “Let me tell you what I think of bicycling. I think it has done more to emancipate women than anything else in the world.” The bike allowed women to venture about without chaperons, liberated them from corsets and cumbersome skirts, provided them a healthier, more vigorous existence, and expanded their marriage pool (no more having to marry your cousin down the street). Today, strolling through street and parkways on a bike is one of the best ways to tour/see an area. Walking doesn’t cover enough territory and cars move too quickly and provide too big of a barrier from the environment. Even cycling excursions around Austin often stun me with the beauty of our Texas Hill Country. As a pair of cleats, my life would be outdoors, healthy, happy, adventurous, fun and even spiritual. So, make me a pair of old beat-up bike cleats any day. See you on the road!

What I’ve Learned About Setting A Healthy Boundary

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feb26_2017

Point to Ponder:
Is there an area in your life where you can benefit from adding a healthy boundary?

iGnite Neissa

by Neissa Brown Springmann

Several weeks ago I let Martha Lynn Mangum, iGnite member and my professional coach, know that I wanted to take the week of February 20- February 24 off. My children had the week off from school for what’s called Ski Week. No, this isn’t Spring Break, as that’s not until April. Ski Week is just a random week off designed to torture parents. HA! Really, I have no idea why, but my guess is with the President’s Day holiday, families were taking extra long weekends to go to skiing and as a means to avoid losing money (from the state), the district decided it was best to extend the school year and give the students the whole week off.

All that to say, I wanted to commit the entire week to spending time, having fun and fully focusing on Durant and Malaine, something I shamefully don’t allow myself to do or give them, ever. With the exception of a Saturday or major holiday, I am a slave to my email and anything work related takes precedent. If I’m not physically working, my brain is consumed with it. I’m a work-a-holic and am horrible at setting work-related boundaries. The result is that I spend much of my time multi-tasking between the needs of my family, household and work. On the outside looking in, it might appear that I am cool, calm and collected, but on the inside, I’m a mental mess. I, like most women, am a great multi-tasker, which I think is helpful and likely a God-given gift to women. During multi-tasking moments, I often experience an adrenalin high but I also feel like I am in a constant state of intellectual frenzy. Meanwhile, taking legitimate and real time off never occurs to me. Why? Because I don’t know how to.

As I spoke to Martha about what I wanted to do and why I wanted to do it, I expressed that I just wanted to just hang out with the kiddos. I wanted to give them my undivided attention and not put them on hold, like I frequently do. I also wanted to be fun, and not the crazed mom that I often become when I am striving to accomplish too many things at one time. And yet, as I discussed this with Martha, taking a full week off felt daunting because getting behind on emails and work didn’t seem worth it. Furthermore, with family and hard work being two of my core values, taking time off I felt as though I was not being a supportive team/family member to the iGnite team and family and it just feels wrong not to work!

As you are reading, you are likely seeing my own hypocrisy and wanting to shake me while screaming, “Isn’t taking the week off so you can spend time with your children/family in complete alignment with your family core value?” Of course you are right, but my deranged brain couldn’t see that. And, to exploit my hypocrisy even more, Martha reminded me that even though I always support and encourage our amazing iGnite team to take time off, (because I truly believe we all need it and are energized after a good break and extra fun) by not walking my talk I am non-verbally communicating that I really don’t expect them to take time off either. NOOOOO that’s not true, but clearly I’m being a hypocrite!

Realizing that I was being a total phony sealed the deal, so with Martha’s coaching (because I really didn’t know how to take time off), she directed me on the simple steps:
1). communicate my plans to our team, and 2) to set an email vacation reminder so when someone emailed me and I didn’t respond, they’d know that I I wasn’t ignoring them and I’d get back to them after my time off. And so, I followed Martha’s instructions and last Monday morning I began my week off. As a result, here’s what I learned:

I have very unhealthy work boundaries which are all self-induced, and even though I am deeply passionate about iGnite and it feeds every ounce of my body, mind and spirit, it is essential that I step away, just as I would advise our iGnite team and/or any mom to do from her family, despite her intense love for them.

In addition, taking the week off was the single greatest gift I could have given myself and my family–we had a blast! Because I set my email vacation reminder I didn’t feel obligated to check my email, or guilty or irresponsible for not responding. Was I perfect, no, as there were a few times when I needed to check on time-sensitive items, but I felt zero urge to check my email. All in all, I can’t give myself an A+, but I do give myself an A-. Now that I’ve officially taken time off and know how to, I’ll be able to do it better next time and the next time.

What I’ve learned in life is that I’m never alone in anything, and if I have a difficult time setting boundaries, then it’s likely that someone else does too. There’s no doubt that setting healthy boundaries around work can be tricky for anyone, but in particular for women, I think when it comes to our family, friends, volunteering, and just doing and giving to people in general (as I feel in iGnite), keeping healthy boundaries is as tricky as walking a tightrope. Honoring and keeping our personal and family-time separate and sacred, even from things such as social media, technology, television, and the plethora of activities and opportunities that vie for our attention is a real challenge, but its necessary. In the words of Susan Biali, Life Coach and Medical Doctor, she says it best in her article from Psychology Today titled, “7 Ways to Protect Your Energy & Enforce Healthy Boundaries”, you are here for a reason, and we need you to be at your best. We need you to be rested, and to have time available to do what you were put on this earth to do, no matter how big or small. You need time for you and for those you love most, in order for you to be happy and healthy and a blessing to all of us. This is really important, it isn’t selfish. Guard your life energy, it’s the most important currency you have.”

Action Item:
Establish a healthy boundary in an area in your life, and focus on it for a week. If need be, ask for guidance and find an accountability partner. At the end of your week, evaluate your progress and determine what, if anything, changed for you.

 

Re-New Year Retreat “Rise & Shine”

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img_2233

Why Retreat?

crystal

By Crystal Tidmore

There are a million reasons not to go on retreat (too much to do, kids’ activities, don’t need to spend the money…the list goes on). Oh…but when you do give yourself permission to go on retreat, you benefit not just yourself, but your loves ones as well. Retreat allows us to pause, reflect, and re-commit ourselves to becoming the very best that we can be. When we retreat, we commit ourselves to a journey of returning to the source of all things to refill our well and remind us who we truly are.

“Rise and Shine” was the theme of this year’s first annual iGnite Re-New Year Retreat. We set out to create a unique space, apart from our daily routine, where everyone could find renewal, inspiration and hope. Whether walking the beach, chatting around the fire-pit, practicing yoga by the pool, creating art, learning new forms of dance and movement, or exploring our core values, passions and purpose—we were treating our bodies, minds and spirits to the many gifts of retreat.

Our guest speaker, Stefanie, from Generate Hope, said:
“Life isn’t about finding ourselves. Life is about creating ourselves.”

We create and re-create ourselves each and every day by the choices we make. And we can choose to honor our gifts or dismiss them as unimportant or insignificant. Our job is to uncover our gifts and passions, and it’s God’s job to take those passions and gifts and point them to a higher purpose. How often do we try to do God’s job for Him? We RISE, so that God can SHINE through us.

Rising is about claiming God’s purpose for our lives. Rising is acknowledging the unique gifts that God has given us and iGniting the passion within us to use those gifts in a way that only we can. And when we RISE, we SHINE the light within us that encourages and empowers others to shine their unique light within them.

Much like a campfire, the light within us needs to be rekindled from time to time so that it doesn’t burn out or fade away. We must tend that fire with love and attention—and with retreat.

So, why do we re-treat? We retreat…
…to re-fill our well
…to re-create ourselves
…to re-gain strength
…to re-ceive the spirit within us
…to re-claim our gifts
…to re-iGnite our passions
…to re-fresh our creativity
…to re-juvenate our bodies
…to re-generate ideas
…to re-new our mind, body, and spirit

We re-treat to re-turn to our true selves, our very best selves.

This year’s Re-New Year Retreat was filled with so much fun and laughter and new experiences for all of us. Since the retreat, I have made a promise to take the concept of retreat into my daily life. I came away from San Diego with new tools for the tool belt and new companions for the journey. This Friday our San Diego retreaters will gather together in Austin for a Retreat Reunion luncheon to share more stories, watch our slideshow, and begin planning our next retreat! Hope you will give yourself permission to retreat throughout the year. And hope you join us for the next iGnite Retreat!

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The “Rise and Shine” Re-New Year Retreat was held Jan 26-29, 2017 in LaJolla, California. See the full photo album from retreat here.

 

Member Spotlight: Madeleine Tilin

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grey-big-smile-filter-5652Roots:
I grew up in Lubbock, graduated from UT Austin with a degree in journalism and moved several times before coming back to Austin in 2011. My children’s father and I both worked in publishing and enjoyed some great cities together as a result – Boulder, Chicago, Santa Fe and Oakland. We moved to Austin in 2011.

Family Life:
I live with my partner, John, and I have two children, Isaac (17) and Leila (14) who are in high school at St. Stephen’s Episcopal School. We also live with John’s two sons, Graham (17) and Lucas (14) who attend LASA. It’s kind of like the Brady Bunch without Alice. 🙂

Work Life:
I have spent my work life as a visual communicator – magazine art director, graphic designer and photographer. I’ve been an event and portrait photographer for the last 9 years and am transitioning to having my own female centered contemporary portrait studio out of my home. I’m excited to develop as a fine artist using my photography as a basis to create photo encaustic work, a medium that uses beeswax and oil pant to create beautiful, one of a kind art pieces for my clients. It’s been germinating for a few years. It’s finally becoming a reality, and I’m super excited! That said, my job as a mother trumps all. It’s cliché, but I don’t think I really knew how big my heart could grow until I had children. I’m so thankful for this journey.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned through my iGnite experience…
Working out in community is way more fun and motivating. 🙂 I have always valued my friendships with women, so iGnite is an extension of that. I appreciate that there are women of all ages, perspectives and life experiences.

Who or what inspires me most…
It’s hard to narrow this one down! My children, my girlfriends, nature and my yoga practice. First, my children inspire me with their kindness, sensitivity and openness to life and all kinds of people. Second, nature, particularly the ocean and redwoods in Northern California and the high desert and mountains in New Mexico. As a photographer, I’m always observing the quality of light in new places, and I inevitably think the last place is the best…like how could it ever get better?! This is a great metaphor for life. 🙂 Just when you think you have experienced the most amazing, sublime light, you arrive in a new place or time and something different and just as beautiful is revealed. Nature perpetuates a sense of wonder that is so very important to happiness. My closest girlfriends near and far inspire me with their big, generous hearts and willingness to dig deep and help each other be the best versions of ourselves. My yoga practice has enriched my life in ways I could have never imagined when I started practicing 22 years ago. It has been my close friend and refuge most of my adult life, and I can easily say that it has made me a better human being. I am eternally grateful to my many teachers who have passed on different aspects of this beautiful practice.

Something people may not know about me is…
I sang vocals, played keyboard and flute in two different bands in Oakland. They were both groups of parents who were getting their groove back. 🙂 It was a ton of fun and learning how to play with others was a whole new experience.

Three words to describe myself are…
Creative, warm-hearted, free-spirited

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Member Spotlight: Simone Krasan

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simoneRoots:
I say I am from Seattle, as that is where I spent the longest amount of time growing up. My father was in the military, and my mother liked to travel, so we moved around a lot. I moved from Seattle to Austin, sight unseen, with two of my sorority sisters in 1995. I said I would give it a year…it’s been 22 years now. 🙂

Family life:
I met my husband, Sean, when we moved from New York City and he lived next door to me at the Gables on Lake Austin Blvd in 1996. We have been married almost 17 years now and have three AWESOME -most of the time- kids! Max is 14 and will attend Westlake High School next year! Ben is 11 and then “WE GOT THE GIRL!” as my husband always says. Olivia is 10.

Work life:
Currently, I have the privilege of being a stay-at-home mom. I feel like I am a full time uber driver (but without pay) for my kids and their teammates. I also do some inspirational speaking on occasion. Before kids, I was a top sales producer at several telecom companies and later ran two sales offices as a District Sales Manager.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned through my iGnite experience…
The biggest lesson I have learned through my iGnite experience is how valuable the friendships, connections and community through iGnite are. Neissa and all the amazing women that help lead iGnite are some of the best women out there. Neissa has always had a gift of inspiring others and of bringing women together to share their gifts and talents. I highly value these women and the lovely ladies I get to iGnite life with.

Who or what inspires me most…
The ocean inspires me. There is a quote that I love by Isak Dinesen, and our own iGniter Olivia Osborne, found it for me in a magazine at the Re-New Year San Diego iGnite Retreat. She says “The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.” Thanks to iGnite, we get to sweat. Sometimes we just need a good cry. And the sea, although it has almost taken my life twice, is my happy place. I would also like to mention our fellow iGniter and my awesome cousin, Nikki McCormick, who inspires me to laugh! You know the belly laugh that makes your cheeks hurt kind of laugh!

I am looking forward to…
The day my book I have been writing gets published. It’s not ready yet – it needs a great editor – but I have been enjoying finally writing a book that has been 25 years in the making. Many of the seasoned iGniters know “my story”, and if you have ever been a newbie in one of Kathleen’s classes that I have shown up for have heard it too, because she lovingly brags about me! In 1991, my new friend and love, Larry, set me up on the railing of an Italian ferry. I fell backwards and plummeted over 40 feet into the Adriatic Sea, and he jumped in after me. At 1:00 am, no one saw us go overboard. It was 18 hours that I floated in and out of consciousness, fighting for my life, before I was miraculously found by nine Austrian men on their 47 foot Clipper who saved me. Tragically, Larry did not survive. I share my story of love and hope in hopes to inspire others.

My guilty pleasure…
Would have to involve hazelnuts, whether it’s a French crepe with Nutella, a Hazelnut Latte or a Kinder Bueno Bar, a candy bar from Italy with a chocolate covered wafter and hazelnut filling. Yum!

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Be Love

1 Reply

feb12_2017

Point to Ponder:
Do your thoughts, words and actions produce love for yourself?

iGnite Neissa

by Neissa Brown Springmann

Last week I received a very kind compliment. It was one that I didn’t feel deserving of but none-the-less it was greatly appreciated, especially because I wasn’t having the most confident day or week. And, since being called out by a good friend many years ago and her telling me that I needed to work on receiving compliments because it was incredibly rude when I rejected them, I have changed my tune. You know, the standard compliment rejection goes like this:

Friend to You: “Hi You! Your hair looks amazing!”

You to Friend (response #1): “Oh my gosh–it’s a mess and sooo dirty. I haven’t washed it in days and just threw some dry shampoo in it. It’s so gross, I haven’t showered in three days, I barely even brushed my teeth this morning and you don’t even want to step inside my house….. etc. etc.

You to Friend (response #2): “Thank you! Your hair is amazing too!”

My wise friend explained that compliments are verbal sunshine and they should always be received with a big smile and a “thank you” (no extras needed and no compliment exchange necessary). Maybe it’s a universal female thing or maybe it’s an American female thing–I have no idea, but what I do know is that we are entirely too critical of ourselves, and learning how to graciously accept a compliment is one of the first steps to learning how to love ourselves, be loved, love others and being love. In addition, little ears are always paying attention, so whether you have nieces, sisters, daughters, granddaughters or just other female ears around, we are leading by example and they are always listening and learning.

And so, as Valentine’s Day is upon us and love is swirling all around, I encourage you to practice loving yourself by not only graciously accepting a compliment with a “thank you” and a smile, but by also speaking words of love and kindness to yourself. “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7

Finally, I also encourage you to print our “I Love Your Because” love notes HERE so you can inform those who you love why you love them, or what you love about them. It’s a sweet and fun card that fits great in a wallet, lunchbox, backpack or taped on a mirror, around the house or in a car. It’s super simple yet very effective for both the giver and receiver. And, don’t forget about yourself. Write a love note to yourself, telling your body, mind and spirit what you love so much about them, and then watch your level of gratitude and appreciation for your body and whole self sore! Here’s to loving yourself, being loved, loving others and being love!

Action Item:
Print our “I Love Your Because” love notes so you can inform those who you love why you love them, or what you love so much about them. Also, write a love note to yourself, telling your body, mind and spirit what you love so much about them.

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Why We Need to Take A Break

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feb5_2017

Point to Ponder:
Do you give yourself the necessary breaks that you need?

iGnite Neissa

by Neissa Brown Springmann

“Sometimes a break from your routine is the very thing you need.” Is that the truth or what?! Being one week removed from iGnite’s Re-New Year Rise & Shine Retreat in San Diego, although I was technically working and the retreat was a whopping thirty minutes from my home, it hit the spot. Of course I love my family and my life, but I just needed to step away from my day to day responsibilities and immerse myself into a new scene. As always, I returned home more patient, grateful, loving and passionate. Not to sound cliche, but I was rejuvenated, had a renewed energy and sense of self.

What I find over and over again (yes–it’s the definition of insanity-ugh) is when I neglect my physical, mental and spiritual needs, I quickly reach my tipping point and I don’t like who I become. As I’ve mentioned in previous journals, I have a skin crawling experience and I get resentful and very unpleasant….and to be even more honest, I get mean. I become quick tempered, yell, have very little to no patience and am no fun to be around. Everything becomes a struggle and in all facets, not only am I not myself, but I am a fraction of my best.

Sure, I could blame my husband’s work schedule, as him being gone often and us living so far from family makes taking regular time for me more difficult to coordinate, however this is on me. I know this about myself. In order to get the necessary breaks that allow me to be my best, I must schedule time for me and do so without any guilt. This doesn’t have to be a four day retreat or anything expensive or elaborate–it just needs to be a few hours away from my children, my computer, my phone, my house and my regular commitments.

My good friend and iGnite member Catherine Sanderson recently sent me an excellent article written by holistic health coach, Ashley Berry titled “Why Self Care Isn’t Weak”.  In it, Ashley writes about her journey with healing her sick body, but she also speaks directly to our great need for holistic (mind, body, spirit) well being, including rest, rejuvenation and caring for our whole selves–something that I believe every woman needs encouragement and support to do and regularly practice.

Finally, I encourage you to read Ashley’s entire article, but for starters, below is an excerpt and great reminder of our female tendencies and how and why we need to shift. Also, because you have your calendar out and are scheduling time for you (wink wink hint hint) be sure to secure July 28 – August 2 for the iGnite Summer Escape, an exhilarating, exciting, and empowering girlfriend getaway and break from your summer and life routine. Location with all details coming soon!

If you look at the animal kingdom, you’ll see that all creatures from birds to mammals and even insects practice self-care instinctually. When they’re sick, they eat plants that heal them. When they’re tired or injured, they rest. If they’re social animals, they seek connection when they need it. But somewhere along the way in our evolution as a species, we learned how to override the needs of our bodies and minds, and eventually even built a culture around doing just that. Almost everywhere we turn, there’s some sort of messaging that encourages us to push ourselves to our limits, to hustle, to grind, to work hard, and to play even harder. But where does rest factor into this equation? At what point did self-care get deemed self-indulgent?

Most of us know that our greatest wealth is health. There’s no amount of money that can buy happiness if we’re suffering mentally or physically, and yet, social pressures, both implicit and explicit, make it incredibly challenging to make choices that support our well being. We forgo using our sick days. We pull the long hours, fueled by sugar and coffee. We sweep our mounting stress levels under the rug with alcohol or food.

We use busyness to avoid being present with ourselves because if we stopped and stood still, we might feel the full weight of the overwhelm we’ve created in our own lives.

So the question is, how do we shift? How do we grab the reins and steer our culture to a place that is more supportive of our most basic needs?

By honing in on one person, one choice, one small, revolutionary act at a time. We all have the opportunity to look at our own lives and get honest about the ways in which we are not caring for ourselves. We can start conversations that promote awareness of the importance of both mental and physical health. We can model unapologetic self-care, and in doing so, give permission to those around us to do the same.

Action Item:
Pause and identify where you are not caring of yourself and then start making plans and schedule important time for you.

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Being “Good Enough”

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Encouragement from the iGnite Archives: March 2012

jan29_2017

Point to Ponder:
Do you struggle with feeling “good enough”?

Amy Younkman

by Amy Younkman

Have you ever struggled with the feeling that you are not “good enough”?

I recall being in 3rd grade and feeling sadly disappointed with all A’s, and a B in Penmanship on my report card. I thought my handwriting was good, but it wasn’t “good enough.” As a teen I struggled with feelings of self-worth and self-acceptance. I was never “thin enough” or “confident enough.” Then, as a busy Mom of three, one of my favorite free-time activities was training for triathlons. One year, I placed 3rd (in my age group) in a sprint triathlon and decided I could do better, so I trained harder. The next year I came in 2nd place and elusive 1st place was never an option, as the triathlon series was discontinued. Equally elusive were my feelings of being “good enough.”

I now know why God graced me with my three children. They were pre-destined to be some of my greatest teachers. At age 16 and in a fit of frustration, I recall my oldest daughter blurting out “Nothing is ever good enough for you!” Taking the comment to heart, I began a long, slow journey of learning to let go of desired outcomes and needing to control what I perceived as the necessary end result. I passionately want the best for my kids and for myself, therefore I continually struggle to ease up on my expectations and instead, to learn the lessons the present has to offer.

Meanwhile, the little voice in my head continues to taunt me… “Are you really a good enough Mom, wife, friend, yoga teacher??”  I have to stop, breathe and ask for help. I realize I am an imperfect human who, though flawed, does the best she can with a faith-filled heart. And then I offer the rest to God. Doing this frees me from the need to be perfect and in control. Divine design is constantly working through me, and I am only a small vessel amidst a fleet of God’s angels.

My yoga mat is a laboratory for my life. Every day offers new experiments and discoveries. I have found immense peace of mind through merely showing up on my mat, paying attention to my breath, and letting my body guide me as it opens and unfolds in it’s own time to receive grace. Learning to receive is a lesson unto itself. I don’t have to be a superstar on the mat; just showing up, willing to learn is “good enough.”

The beauty I have found in iGnite is that we don’t measure success by inches lost, pounds shed, or winning times; instead we focus on nurturing relationships, finding fun in the every day, and being fed in body, mind and spirit. If we can do that, it is most definitely “good enough.”

I challenge you to look at your own life vocation and ask yourself, “Am I good enough?”  Today may be different from yesterday, or tomorrow. Accept yourself in the here and now, realizing you are a work in progress and God is not yet through with you.

Action Item:
Accept yourself in the here and now, realizing you are a work in progress and God is not yet through with you.

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