Loving Yourself & Others, Part III

“Today I will be ME-SPONSIBLE. The act of being responsible for me, for the benefit of my health, happiness and well-being”
(Anonymous)

Point to Ponder:
Do your daily decisions and actions benefit your health, happiness and well-being or are they based on doing what you “should do” or caring for the needs of others only?

by Neissa Brown Springmann

Last week while having a conversation with one of our members in class she let me know that she would not be participating in our upcoming Body Re-boot. She explained that she has a lot going on in her life and she recognized that participating in our Re-boot would have the opposite effect on her: it would add stress to her life rather than reduce stress.

Even though I personally created our Re-boot and believe it’s a non-extreme and practical way to de-stress the body, mind and spirit, learn about yourself and focus on self-care for ten days, I love her “Me-sponsible” decision because she is doing what is best for her, right now.  She is being realistic about where she is in her life and that even participating in something as healthy as our re-boot would not serve her at this time and would cause stress. To me, her mindset is beautiful, healthy and is the perfect example of self-love, which is something I struggle with because I feel like “I should” always be striving to do more, be more, more…more…more!!!!

I’m working on resisting the “I shoulds” — the high expectations that I’ve created for myself and my life — and am working on accepting and embracing the Yin and Yang, which Cary so eloquently articulated in her article last week. Along those similar lines, during mine and Russell’s wedding ten years ago, the minister preached on the ebb and flow that occurs during marriage, and how important it is to go with the flow and ride the high and low waves rather than resist them or throw in the towel. The ideas of yin/yang and ebb-and-flow seem easy enough in theory, but the “I shoulds” that continuously run through my head as well as comparing myself to yesterday is the ten ton stress gorilla that sits on my back and the result is very often self-disappointment, guilt and feeling like a fraud.

When I explained this mental dilemma to my business coach and iGnite member Martha Lynn, she advised that I needed to master saying ‘yes’ to myself, which — because life doesn’t come in a predictable square box — looks different every single day, She also suggested that I begin requesting what I need, such as, let Russell know that once a week I need a 30-minute bubble bath so please take care of the children for me so I can have this time for myself. I’ve already tried and of course he said “sure”, thought my natural instinct is to take responsibility for everyone else and neglect something I need, love and want.

All and all, even though it doesn’t always feel like it, we are the captains of our ship, and with that comes great “ME-sponsibility” to listen to our body, our mind, and our spirit and love ourselves enough to know when to push, rest, indulge, focus, play, be still, say “yes” and say “no.” As referenced above, it also means asking for the things we need and want. For women, I think this is extremely challenging because we all feel immense responsibility for so many people and things, so loving ourselves and our ever-changing needs enough is very difficult, but doing so is essential and will give us the opportunity to participate in the yin, yang and ebb and flow of life, which ultimately means saying “yes” to our health, happiness and well-being and therefore being able to authentically say “yes” more often and to the people we love.

Action Item:
Be ME-SPONSIBLE and love yourself enough to be flexible in your daily actions, honor where you are and give yourself what you need to be your best.