“I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. ”
– Augusten Burroughs
Point to Ponder:
Who in my life could I love better?
Identify one person in your life that you could do a better job of loving. Then, during your next interaction, focus on how you can better serve and love them in that moment.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about love, loving people and what that means and looks like. Sometimes I feel like I have it figured out, and other times I feel like I’ve failed miserably. I also think about the negative effects that the convenience and instant gratification of technology has on our mindset, our relationships and our ability to love long-term and unconditionally. On one hand, technology allows us to connect on unimaginable levels. It allows me to share this journal with you and for us learn from others around the world. On the other hand, it paints an irrational and unrealistic picture of the fortitude that must be present in our lives and relationships. For example, with the click of a mouse or remote control, you can always find a better deal, a better date or a seemingly more happy, beautiful and successful person or relationship. It’s even possible that in the near future we can place an online order and have a drone deliver it to our doorstep in two hours flat! Maybe that’s convenient, but I’m old fashioned — I think this is insane and that type of instant gratification has a negative effect on our ‘love psyche.’ After all, instant gratification, impatience and convenience is the opposite design of love.
I could write on this topic for hours, but the best description of love came from a friend this week in the form of a quote. Not only did it leave me speechless, but it answered all of my questions about what it means to really love people. In fact, it actually showed me how much room I have to grow. The bottom line is that loving people can’t be about me and my feelings, rather it must be how I make that person feel when he or she is around me, despite the environment or circumstance.
Finally, with the holidays upon us and family gatherings in abundance, I feel that sharing this quote could be a holiday and relationship game-changer for many of us, so here you go:
“The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws. That’s just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don’t last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they’re out of money or under pressure or hungry, for goodness’s sake. Love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.”